


But touch my tears with your lips

by Skyrissian (ErinacchiLove)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canonical Character Death, Don't copy to another site, F/F, Falling In Love, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21564607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinacchiLove/pseuds/Skyrissian
Summary: Jacen is six months old when Ahsoka Tano returns to Hera’s life.
Relationships: Hera Syndulla/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58
Collections: Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange 2019





	But touch my tears with your lips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PetitMinou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetitMinou/gifts).



> Happy Holidays, PetitMinou! I hope you like this fic^^ It's a bit experimental from my part, especially with the open ending, but I think it turned out quite nicely^^
> 
> I actually got the idea for this plot during last year's rare pairs but never got around to actually write it, and I'm so glad it turned out that way. This fic was a lot of fun to write ♥
> 
> Enjoy!

Jacen is six months old when Ahsoka Tano returns to Hera’s life. Hera’s past eighteen months or so have been hellish, and as far as she has been concerned, the Jedi could all go to hell. She doesn’t understand. How is Ahsoka back but Ezra isn’t? Ezra is still out there somewhere but somehow Ahsoka Tano has returned. Hera really doesn’t get it.

And she’s angry.

Angry that Kanan isn’t here when he should be. Kanan hadn’t even known they were going to have a child together. Jacen would never meet his father. It’s unfair. It’s not right.

Hera tells Ahsoka this much.

Ahsoka nods. She understands.

Ahsoka understands the pain of loss probably better than anyone else Hera knows. And that is most likely the reason Hera won’t tell her to go to hell. Besides, she needs help with Jacen. The Rebel Alliance is on the move, Sabine is holding the fort on Lothal, and while Rex, Zeb, and Kallus help whenever they can, they have their own missions to attend. Ahsoka has none, as she is not an official Fulcrum agent anymore, and actually prefers to lay low for now. And maybe it is better no one outside the _Ghost_ crew knows she’s alive.

Having an extra pair of hands on the _Ghost_ always available helps a lot with an infant. Chopper is of course as helpful as he can be, but he is only one droid.

It’s slow, but eventually Hera and Ahsoka fall into a rhythm. Ahsoka takes care of Jacen whenever Hera has to leave to take care of the rebellion. There are weeks when Hera doesn’t see much of Jacen, but she doesn’t worry.

Even when Jacen starts to show the first signs of being Force-sensitive, Hera doesn’t worry, at least not much.

Ahsoka is not what Hera wished for, but having the former Jedi around turns out to be something she needed.

And more than that, Hera actually _likes_ having Ahsoka on board. There are things they both avoid talking about (Kanan and Ezra especially, the pain is still too close to both of them) but for the most part their living together runs smoothly. Rex visits them from time to time, himself a grieving man as well. The loss of General Kenobi hit him hard, but Ahsoka’s return cheers the old clone captain up remarkably.

Ahsoka asks whether Hera wants Jacen to be trained as a Jedi. Hera says no. Ahsoka respects it and doesn’t bring it up again.

* * *

Jacen is almost two years old when Hera kisses Ahsoka for the first time.

It’s one of those days the _Ghost_ is sitting idly somewhere in space. The Alliance is planning on moving to their base on Hoth, and for once Hera doesn’t have any duties. Leia Organa’s promotion to general relieved her of some duty, and Hera isn’t going to complain. If anything it allows her to spend more time with her son, finally. Sometimes it feels like she doesn’t see Jacen for ages even if they’re only ever apart for three days at most.

By now Jacen has grown a lot more green hair, and the tips of his pointy ears are green as well, and he is increasingly curious about his surroundings. The _Ghost_ is still his entire galaxy, but not for much longer. He waddles around the ship on his tiny legs, closely followed by Chopper, and asks “Why?” about everything.

“No, you can’t take my lightsaber,” Ahsoka says patiently.

“Why?” Jacen asks.

“Because it’s not for children.”

“Why?”

“It’s not safe.”

“Why?”

At that point Hera takes pity on Ahsoka and picks Jacen up. The little boy’s attention is instantly on his mother, and Ahsoka’s lightsabers are all but forgotten. It’s time for Jacen’s bath anyway, so Hera takes him to the ‘fresher and after getting completely drenched she somehow manages to get him into his crib. Chopper stays to watch over him.

Ahsoka is smiling and shaking her head when Hera returns to the cockpit.

“He’s a sweetheart,” Ahsoka says, “but I do miss the time he mostly slept and ate. I’m running out of reasons to give him when he asks me why.”

Hera can’t help but laugh. There is a bit of truth there. Jacen was an easy baby, thankfully, and back then Hera never had to worry about him. Now… with Jacen getting increasingly active, it’s going to get harder and harder to keep him safe. He’s a curious boy and especially interested in flying. Well, it’s not as if Hera didn’t expect that, and she does look forward to teach him how to fly. Just… not yet. He’s still a toddler.

“So, Hoth?” Ahsoka asks after a moment of silence.

“Afraid so,” Hera confirms, shaking her head. “I have no idea how I’m gonna manage that with a toddler. I might ask General Dodonna if I can go to D’Qar instead. They’re mostly an intel faction these days so it might be better for Jacen in that regard as well. No overbearing cold or active warfare.”

Ahsoka nods. “I’ve never been to Hoth myself but I have heard the stories. It really isn’t a place for small children if even half of what I’ve heard is true.”

Hera makes a face. “It’s all true, unfortunately. Zeb and Kallus were sent out ahead to check if the area was safe and you wouldn’t believe the dramatics those two got into.”

Granted, Zeb and Kallus had been stuck on an ice moon together, and Hera could understand that despite it having been the catalyst to what was now a very loving relationship neither of them was keen on repeating the experience. Maybe Hera could try and persuade General Dodonna to send them on D’Qar with her. D’Qar wasn’t as hot as Yavin 4 so by all accounts it should be perfect for all of them.

Ahsoka leans back in the co-pilot’s chair and says, “I’ll go with you if you’ll still have me.”

Something about Ahsoka’s tone moves Hera to the verge of tears and she has no idea why. Of course she’ll still have Ahsoka come with her if the Jedi wishes to come. It’s not even up for debate. By now Hera couldn’t imagine her life without Ahsoka anyway. She wants to have Ahsoka around as long as she wants to be around.

Hera leans in to touch Ahsoka’s hand. “Please come with me and Jacen.”

Ahsoka’s smile is luminous and it makes Hera’s heart flutter the way it hasn’t since the day she confessed her love for Kanan. Next thing she knows, she’s straddling Ahsoka and kissing her full on the mouth.

Ahsoka doesn’t pull away.

If anything, she deepens the kiss. And it’s a good one. And for the first time in years Hera feels like she can relax.

Hera doesn’t let go of Ahsoka for a good while after the kiss has ended. They’ll have to talk about this eventually, but for now… for now this is enough. It’s comfortable and comforting, and even though Hera isn’t Force sensitive she can sense that Ahsoka feels the same.

For the first time in years Hera feels like she’s able to open herself to the concept of love again.

* * *

Jacen is three when he calls Ahsoka “mom” for the first time.

It’s not as if it should’ve come as a surprise. Jacen has called Hera “mommy” since day one, and given that she and Ahsoka are now more or less an actual item and that Ahsoka has been in his life for ages it’s only natural that Jacen’s brain would make the connection.

Even so, when Jacen tugs Ahsoka’s trousers and asks, “Mom, can I have sweets?” both Hera and Ahsoka freeze for a good while. So long, in fact, that Jacen has to huff and repeat his question.

“Uhhh,” Ahsoka says and looks up to Hera, asking for help with a desperate look. Hera nods furiously. Better to just give Jacen the sweets. Otherwise he might resort to using a Force trick, and last time he did that it did not end well. Chopper still has a dent where the hydro-spanner hit him on his dome. He bears his injury bravely though and hasn’t allowed Hera to fix it. Hera hasn’t bothered to try and change his mind.

Jacen huffs again and finally Ahsoka responds. “Sure.” She picks up the jar where they keep the sweets. Jacen has the biggest sweet tooth of them all. “Here, but don’t take too many.”

Jacen takes five pieces. More than Hera usually allows, but right now she couldn’t care less. She has a very strong feeling that there is a need for a very uncomfortable conversation. Ahsoka is visibly squirming where she stands, and Hera really wishes they didn’t have to talk this through. But still, it’s better to just pull off the bacta patch. It’ll only hurt that one time and then it’s over and done.

Hopefully.

“So,” Hera says, crossing her arms. She doesn’t know what else to do with them. “That happened.”

“Yeah,” Ahsoka says and scratches the back of her neck. “What should we do?”

Hera sighs. “I don’t know, Soka. I guess this was coming, given… us. I just…”

“Feel conflicted because of Kanan?” Ahsoka suggests.

Another sigh. “That’s about the gist of it,” Hera says apologetically. Making Ahsoka feel like she’s somehow competing with Kanan’s memory is the last thing Hera wants but at the same time she doesn’t want to erase him from Jacen’s life.

Ahsoka shakes her head. “Yeah, I understand that. And I swear I’m not trying to replace Kanan. Force knows I would never wanna do that.”

“I know,” Hera assures. “And I never thought you were. I guess what shocked me the most was… how natural it felt, when Jacen called you mom. It felt _right_ and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”

Ahsoka doesn’t respond for a while, and for a good moment Hera is sure she has managed to hurt her feelings. But then Ahsoka walks across the room and hugs Hera. No words are spoken, Hera just presses closer to Ahsoka. Ahsoka touches one of Hera’s lekku, and Hera shivers. Touching the lekku is very intimate in a very similar way for both the Twi’lek and the Togruta. And this is the first time Ahsoka has ever done so.

“I liked it,” Ahsoka whispers. “I liked it when Jacen called me mom.”

From that day on Jacen keeps calling Ahsoka “mom”. After the first couple of weeks it doesn’t faze Hera anymore. Ahsoka stops flinching at it after a week. She adapts fast, Hera notes.

After that, Ahsoka is Jacen’s mom just like Hera is his mommy.

* * *

Jacen is five when Ahsoka leaves.

Hera always knew it was coming. Ahsoka had talked a bit about leaving to find Ezra and bring him home ever since she came back. And Hera isn’t going to stop her. The war is over, and things have started to calm down. There’s a lot of rebuilding to do of course, and as much as Hera wishes Ahsoka could stay to rebuild their home on Lothal, she also wants Ezra back.

Sabine decides to go with Ahsoka. They’ll also probably take Ketsu with them, from what Hera makes of their conversation via holocom. It’s a good idea. Space travel still isn’t the safest thing, even with the Imperials mostly gone, and they need all hands on deck. Sabine and Ketsu are both good fighters. Hera won’t have to worry about Ahsoka’s safety. She never does, really.

But even so, Hera can’t help but feel lonely already.

“I’m sorry I can’t say how long I’ll be gone,” Ahsoka says on the day she finally departs. Jacen is clinging onto her leg, and Hera knows any attempts to try and pry him off will be futile. By now she has learned what does and doesn’t work with her son.

“Don’t rush it for our sake,” Hera answers and hugs Ahsoka. “Take as long as you need to find Ezra.”

Ahsoka nods against Hera’s shoulder. They only break apart because Jacen starts to complain how he’s being squeezed and he can’t breathe. Ahsoka laughs and picks the boy up. Jacen pouts.

“I don’ wan’ you to go Mom,” he says, sounding like he’s about to cry. Ahsoka strokes his green hair.

“I don’t wanna leave you, kiddo,” she says, “but it’s time to go find your uncle Ezra. It’s time he got home.”

Jacen pouts a bit more, so Ahsoka returns him to Hera and then leans in to kiss the Twi’lek. They don’t part for a good while, until Ahsoka finally sighs and says, “Time to go. The sooner I leave the sooner I’ll be back.”

She’s about to get into her T-6 shuttle, but then she turns around. “Are you two gonna be okay?”

Hera nods. “Of course. Rex is gonna visit next week, and I’m gonna make sure Zeb and Kallus also visit from time to time. Sure, they must have their love nest on Lira San by now, but I will have their hides if they don’t come see their nephew from time to time.”

Ahsoka laughs. Hera is going to miss the sound of it so much.

“Okay,” Ahsoka says. “I guess this is it.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Hera agrees. “Stay safe, and look after Sabine and Ketsu.”

“I will,” Ahsoka promises. “Jacen, be a good boy and listen to your mommy, okay?”

Jacen makes a noise that might be “alright” or “no way”. It’s hard to tell with his face hidden against Hera’s chest. Hera wonders if now might be a good time to say, “I love you”, for the first time. It’s funny, they’ve never said it to each other during the years they’ve been together. Hera opens her mouth…

… but Ahsoka has already boarded her shuttle.

Hera sighs. She’ll say it the second Ahsoka gets back.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated ♥


End file.
